ON THE HIGH SIDE

Most worries, concerns and troubles in our lives today basically reflect a dissonance between what we want and what we actually have.

Apart from the basic needs of life such as food, clothing, shelter and sound health, every other concern stems from wishes and expectations in dissonance with our realities.

To be troubled means to be concerned, perturbed, agitated, uneasy and worried. Many of us are troubled about our income, we are worried about our businesses, we are worried about our relationships, we are worried about our employments, we are worried about our ambitions, dreams, bills, the need to be loved, accepted and celebrated.

We want all things to go well so that we can be happy in life so, anything that threatens these desires stir within us, trouble, worries and anxiety.

Are you worried this morning my dear friend? Are you anxious about something? Are you concerned about something you want, need and desire that keeps eluding you? Are you uneasy about your relationships with your parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, lover or spouse?

Are you worried about how much you make, how much you owe, your growing bills and the possibility of a healthy financial state?

Are you worried about yourself? The things you want to do, the way you want to be, the personal changes you want to make, the attitude and aptitude you want to imbibe, you dreams, hope and personal wishes?

Ladies and gentlemen, most of us are troubled, worried and anxious about so many things in our lives. But the truth is, this negative emotion called worry lacks the power to fix, change, improve or provide anything. On the contrary, it zaps your emotional energy and the possibility to think clearly, productively and progressively.

Have you ever given a thought to the fact that there are some people who lack most of what you already have and they are not worried like you are?
You know, some people who don’t have as much as you have financially are at peace, at rest and unperturbed about the much they have, in fact they are grateful for the little they have.                                                                                                                                             
People who can’t afford your kind of car or don’t even have any car are sometimes happier than you, you know. People who don’t live in your kind of neighborhood, can’t afford your quality of meals, can’t dress fancy like you do and have no clue on how to improve themselves, their lives and conditions are sometimes more at peace, at rest and calm in their souls than you that seem to live better and have much more.

This situation simply underscores the fact that being worried is a matter of perception and the interpretation you give to your life most times.

You want some things, you want to be a particular way, you want to own and possess some things; you want certain kinds of people in your life and it appears you’re not getting all you want when you want them, the interpretation you give to not having or achieving all you want right now and the desperation to acquire is the major bases of your troubled soul.

Dear friend, it is good to be determined and ambitious in life but desperation is the fuel for anxiety and worries.

That feeling of desperation creeps in when it appears there’s a threat to obtaining that which you crave for even if you’re yet to qualify to obtain or earn it in life.

Dear friend, perhaps you should realize you may never be happy in life if you’re a desperate person. 

If you lack the emotional aptitude to derive satisfaction from your current level, state and stage in life, your next level and stage will also not bring you satisfaction because to every level, there’s a new and higher level.

If you anchor your happiness on the things you’re yet to get, you will never be happy because its human nature to always nurse a desire for the latest and newest version of everything.

How then do you deal with this state of mind that is anxious over things and unrealized dreams? How do you reset your mind to enjoy and derive pleasure from that which you already have? I’ll tell you.

You see, it is impossible to be happy and be worry free in life if your happiness is tied to things and dreams and not personal transformation and growth.

A growing man is a happy man. Now this growth is not in physical stature or material acquisition, it’s in personal development in wisdom, knowledge, character and values.

You see, the master key to a happy and purposeful life is having a personal concept about life. You must have a definition of what your own life means and what you’re about.  A life patterned after competing with others, living for others, trying to please others and chasing the ever changing and dynamic trends of things will ultimately derail and fail. You must have your personal life concept.

What does success mean to you as a person? How do you see life from a spiritual, intellectual and physical perspective? Having a clear definition of life as intelligently defined by you, naturally puts the onus on you to build and develop your life in consonance with your own concept and beliefs.

Wealth, titles, money, a big house and fancy stuff don’t guarantee happiness I tell you. The rich and powerful mostly experience sadness, frustration, depression, anxiety and distress in their souls.

The truly happy are people with a life concept and ideology, supported by personal values and life principles that will keep them within their belief systems, irrespective of whether they’re rich or poor, influential or insignificant, powerful or irrelevant.

Happiness surges from within every time you do things and make decisions in agreement with your values and belief systems. Every time you act in ways consistent with your personal principles and values, you feel good and happy. When however, you violate or compromise your values and principles you feel bad about yourself, it doesn’t matter if you belong to the category of the haves or the have nots.

Dear friend, it’s time to reconstruct your model for happiness and satisfaction in life. Being desperate and working hard to own things, gain things and apprehend power can never bring you peace, happiness and satisfaction. Nothing outside of you can bring rest to your soul. A growing you, is a happier you.

Dear friend, it is time, it is time to grow in the true knowledge of life and not on half-truths and lies. 

It is time to sincerely seek the truth in life and not hanker after those who would tell you what you want to hear. It is time to seek wisdom in dealing with situations and people. Don’t be desperate about anything in life, rather develop yourself in the knowledge and capacity to easily and legitimately earn things.

Wisdom would tell you every great thing is worth waiting for. Wisdom will tell you to avoid the company of people who mock your dreams and possibilities in life. Wisdom will tell you to avoid toxic users and ungrateful partners no matter how much you’re in love with them.

Set your own rules for life, outline your principles for living, stop breaking your rules to please people or out of a craving for something or someone. Even if with desperation you obtain that thing or that person, deep down inside, you’ll feel something is fundamentally wrong and you’ll consequently pour the frustration on the thing or person you desperately obtained or acquired.

Life is a long journey with mile stones and duration. Don’t over speed in life, take a mile at a time, enjoy the journey and stop competing with other travelers.
 
Develop a character, a personality and a persona that will earn the respect and admiration of everyone. Money without manners is meaningless. Give your life a meaning first, then confidently and wisely obtain the things you want in life with determination, knowledge, resilience and style. Don’t be desperate, hold in high esteem your values, principles and self-esteem in life. Never compromise, that’s how you’ll free your soul from trouble.