BRIGHTYABAYOR'S BLOG

I want to share a true story with you this morning about a friend who’s really inspired me in consideration of her inner strength, psychological and emotional stamina and gracefulness. She’s just a wonderful young woman. Susan, as i’ll want to call her, got married at 24 to her husband who was 15 years older. She studied business management at one of the federal polytechnics and got married immediately after her final exams. She got pregnant with her first child during her one year NYSC program just after the marriage. Her husband, a general manager sales was doing very well as an employee in a leading multinational in Nigeria. He did well to provide all the essential needs for his family and based on his hard work, dedication and skills in sales, he was rising pretty fast and enjoying his career. As a salesman he was mostly on the road; traveling all over the country to different regions and markets to ensure their brands were doing well across the nation. Susa...

A disorder is a state of mess, disarray, disorganization, confusion and chaos. Unfortunately, this describes perfectly the state of affairs in the lives of many Nigerians today. Many of us have no charge or control over our lives. We are not free, our progress, advancement, peace, joy, comfort, convenience are not within our control. We can’t decide what we want, how we want it and when we want it. Most of us have given up on our dreams, our wonderful and inspiring childhood dreams are dead and today, we live our daily life as it comes not as we wish for it or desire it. We’ve developed the required coping mechanism to remain alive and satisfied in mediocrity and smallness. We are no longer great dreamers, great achievers, or passionate in the pursuit of goals and purpose. We hold people, institutions, employers, the government and even God responsible for our crisis, shortcomings and chaos. We look at life from a malevolent point of view. Hmm. Many of us plu...

We’re all on a journey through life. A tough one for that matter and as we all journey along we will fall. We will hurt, we will make mistakes; we will make wrong turns, wrong choices and decisions with very dire and painful consequences. You see, we are ordinary people, we’re mere mortals; we are very limited in things we have the power to control. That, I believe is the number one cause of frustration in this life. Why can’t things just be easier and less complicated? Why can’t people be kind and truthful and sincere at all times? Why are people treacherous, deceitful, selfish and manipulative?  Why is the world so tough and situations so hard to control, manage and coordinate? Why is it difficult even for me to control myself and do the right things you may want to begin to think this morning? Most times you know what is right, you know what to do, you know what’s appropriate, necessary and rewarding but somehow, you can’t just do these things and this leads t...

Sometimes it’s obvious, other times its innocuous. That feeling of helplessness, weakness, surrender, submission and capitulation. Many of us carry it around with us day after day. We had dreams, sure we used to dream. Of a great life, a rich life, a wealthy life, a happy life, a problem free life, a life of freedom, joy, excitement and everyday goodness. It’s unusual to look into your future and prioritize the challenges, problems, opposition, detractors and people that would be hell bent on ensuring you fail. No, you’ll most likely focus more on the good side, the bright side the positive side and the rewarding returns of your dreams and ambitions. So you start off on your dreams on a great note, high spirit, excited, thrilled, delighted to go ahead with so much gusto and confidence that you’ll definitely succeed, and as soon as you embark on the dream, the journey, the trip, the adventure, the project, the program, the great vision, all the unpleasant surpri...

The iron law of life! Hmm, the most critical law in this life is the law of means. This is the iron law of life. Means is simply the ability to do, acquire or achieve something. Nothing is free in this life, absolutely nothing. Everything you currently own, have and enjoy is either borrowed or purchased. Even your very life – the breath you take in everyday is borrowed. You can’t choose how long to live or when to die, when it is time, the one who borrowed you the life will come for it. The almighty owns your life. A mindset that wants something for nothing will hardly deliver greatness to the owner. Anything you want in life, you must be willing to give or exchange something for it, either tangible or intangible. Even if now you can recall something you believe you got for free, this iron law of life expects that you should also pass on the good or benefit to someone else, if you do not extend similar gift, help or assistance you’ve received to other people, you ...

One of my usual practice is to carry out my roadwork every morning as the day breaks. I get into my exercise outfit and sneakers and I hit the road for my exercise. A few months ago as I ran along,  I began to encounter a woman perhaps in her mid-fifties,  standing by her parked van and offering handbill invitation of her church program to passersby. She performed this duty very passionately and in order not to miss anyone, she’d hastily move from one passerby to another, even those of us running, and she’d mutter a very passionate “God bless you as you attend”. For about a week I’ll collect the handbill and just keep running but one day I stopped. When I stopped she looked at me intently and smiled and wanted to start sharing details of their church but I cut her short and asked her firmly what she does for a living. She said she was a caterer and she’d been a caterer for about 15 years. I looked at her and her tattered van and I said to her, “if you wan...

Everybody thinks. We are all equipped with brains for the purpose of thinking which then leads to decision making and actions. Most of our actions are informed by the way we think, and even most of our reflex actions are pre-programmed based on thinking interpretations and conclusions regarding incidences of the past. That’s why what scares us, what intimidates us and sets us off on panic mode varies from one person to another. We all think, yes, we all do, but not all of us have high quality thoughts. The quality of our thinking varies from person to person. It’s possible to think and think wrong, it’s possible to think and think destructively, it’s possible to think and think unprofitably. Incidentally your thinking largely influences the direction of your life. It’s a popular saying that as a man thinks, so is he, this is actually a summary of a process, it’s not absolute in terms. As no matter how you think, if you don’t follow your thinking with the necessary and appropriate ...

You see, many of us are trying real hard. We sincerely desire good success. Something in us keeps urging us to do more and go further as we are definitely better than where, and how we are currently. We can be happier, richer, wealthier; healthier, we can definitely achieve more, control more, secure more freedom, impact more and live our dream life. Yes we know we can, and we’re working really hard despite all odds, but it appears the more we make the effort, the more difficult things become and the further away whatever we’re chasing appears to soar. Yes, it’s true many of us are trying really hard, so how come things are not just falling into place like they should? Why are things not gelling? What exactly is missing, what are we not doing right? Many of us have decided to stop the blame game and take responsibility, still the struggle persists? In fact the bad situation is escalating, So what next now? Ladies and gentlemen, real success is not accidental, if you acciden...

One of the most deceitful beliefs with humans is the idea that money can take care of most issues in one’s life. The deceitfulness of riches is to believe it can make you a better individual. Money can answer many things except who you are. Money lacks the power to solve your character problems, personality flaws and identity crisis. Money can package you well and make people think and assume all is well with you but I assure you, deep in within, you’ll know you’re still lacking something vital despite all you have. There will be this void money will not be able to fill. Money lacks the power to transform you, it can only package you well and get you things; money lacks the power to make you a better human being. To live is different from being alive. Many have a reputation for living but in reality they are just existing. They are bereft of what it truly means to live. Many pass through this world but never truly live.  They go through life without the satisfaction that...